Divorce: What about the children?

By: Michele McDevitt

Divorce is a prevalent occurrence in modern-day society. At least 50% of marriages end in divorce. Therefore, divorce has become more normalized in society. Overtime, society has learned to adjust and to reconstruct the family life and how it operates. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.”

Unfortunately when divorce arises, a child’s upbringing takes a back seat. As mentioned in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, one of the main concerns of a divorced home is that the family structure has been broken. The impact of divorce has a negative influence on children within the home. Psychological studies have shown that within the first two years after parents separate, children are likely to experience distress, anxiety, anger, and disbelief.

“The plague of divorce,” as the Church refers to it, (GS 47), affects children emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally. Children experience great emotional impact as they struggle with switching between homes, either for weekends or holidays. Young children especially fear that the divorce is their fault, and they worry that if their parents stopped loving each other, one day their parents might stop loving them. Older children may grow to resent their parents due to all the upheaval among the family. Academic performance is often stunted, and “risk-taking” behaviors are increased, such as alcohol and drug use.

Divorce can also have lingering effects. According to the article, “The Baggage Adult Children of Divorce Carry,” in the National Catholic Register, it asserts that for these “adult children” divorce had inflicted “a wound at the depths of their being.” Father Antonio Lopez, the Dean of the John Paul II Institute for Studies in Marriage and the Family, states that, “By severing the child from his or her origins in love, divorce puts the child’s “filial” identity into question, and together with it, the goodness of his or her existence,” (NCR, “The Baggage”). A philosophical question can emerge as the adult child contemplates, “Who am I now that the two people who together made up my origin have gone their separate ways?”. The unresolved confusion that plagued these people as children followed them into adulthood. Even in a “good divorce”, pain and complication still exist as well as emotional scars. Kelly Clarkson’s iconic song of the 2000s, Because of You, touches on the emotional trauma that a young adult woman faces as a result of a broken family.